Welcome to the second edition on the topic, “Healthy Family at a Cost”. In the last edition, I rounded up by asking salient questions that could change the trajectory of your family, if honestly answered. The question was, “How much sacrifice can you make for your family’s sake?” It’s like genuinely evaluating your wishes and desires for a healthy family. Beloved, for the goal of nurturing a healthy family, how much price are you willing to pay? Remember we did learn from the first edition that when you Pay the PRICE called sacrifice, you will enjoy the PRIZE called HEALTHY FAMILY!!!
Today we will emphasize another dimension to building a healthy family. To build a healthy family, you must learn to forgive, and accept being forgiven. For example, forgiving your spouse is fundamental to experiencing a healthy marriage relationship. There can never be a healthy family if the husband harbors unforgiveness towards his wi犀利士
fe and vice versa, or if parents remain unforgiving of their children for ill behavior.
There isn’t any family under heaven that is bereft of the need for forgiveness. If the members of your family are human beings, then the offence is of surety because it is inherent in human relationships to offend each other, thus the need for forgiveness is inevitable.
Is it possible to live in a family and never be offended? Let me twist the question, do you have the propensity to offend people? If yes, then other human beings in your family also have the propensity to offend you. So, create in your heart three realities: (1) you will be offended/angered/annoyed/provoked/deceived by at least a member of your family, (2) because you are not a spirit, you will definitely offend at least one member of your family, (3) you will need to create the room to forgive family members.
Hear what the Bible prescribes in the Book of Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
The rule of thumb in this text is to “make allowance for each other’s fault…” Making room helps you to live with the three realities stated above, and helps you create a healthy family. Remember, you are as imperfect as the people you are expecting to be perfect… think about this truth.
In families where children have rebelled and offended parents, remember, “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him.” (Daniel 9:9, NIV). In God’s mercy, He has been merciful to you even when you rebelled and spoke lies instead of truth, chose compromise instead of honesty. It is that same God that is inviting you to be merciful to your children when they rebel against you.
For anybody reading this article with hurt because of your rebellious child(ren), I pray for God’s transforming power to change your rebellious child(ren) lives right now in Jesus’ name! Every prayer prayed in their lives receives manifestation right now in Jesus’ name! I will hear your testimony. Hallelujah! Speaking of couples harbouring each other’s offences, do you know it is possible to see married couples who go for a whole week, some months and some others go for years without talking to each other? For some, the only talk that joins them is either sex or worship at church (public spaces for people’s sake). Even when they do family devotion, they will both talk to God, but not to each other. Do you understand what I am trying to say?
A story was told of a couple who were having a strained relationship and refusing to forgive each other. The man was going to bed after working on a project over the night and slept around 3 am. He needed to be up and tidy up the project which he was going to submit at an executive meeting with his office board of directors and an important client at 8 am. Thus, he really needed his wife to wake him up wrote at hour 5 am, so he wrote on a piece of paper “Wake me at 5 am” The wife woke up just before that time and she replied to his letter, “Wake up its 5 am” without tapping him to wake up. At the time he woke up, he couldn’t catch up with his presentation and his organization lost the contract. Could either this husband or his wife have adopted Jesus’ counsel in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (NIV)?
Trust me when I tell you, forgiveness breeds a healthy environment for a family to thrive. However, forgiveness can be a great struggle for some people. Such that begrudging those who offend you (alive or dead) might feel natural or appealing to human reasons, but the Bible encourages you to forgive. May His grace enable you to forgive your family members of every wrong in Jesus’ name! A healthy family where husband and wife enjoy their marriage as heaven on earth is possible, but there is a price to pay- FORGIVENESS.
Read my book “Earthly Maintenance for Marriage: even heaven-made marriage needs earthly maintenance to sustain it.”
For ongoing discussion, please contact your ‘Go-to-Pastor’