A story was told of a young man, Yoko (not his real name) who was so spirited he brought joy to everyone who encountered him. In his society, Yoko was known as an emblem of joy who exuded joy to the weary, angry, and discouraged. The story has it that this young man rarely got offended by ANYTHING; he could ignore offenses and insults, laughs at misfortunes, and willingly forgives the offenders at any slightest word of apology. The story has it that parents in the society often referred to this Yoko as an ideal child for all young people to emulate. Let us label this phase of his life as PHASE 1.

Yoko grew in maturity to the third floor in life (the third floor means being in his thirties, the fourth floor connotes one’s forties and the fifth floor one’s fifties and so on …), and got married. Fortunately for him, he married Zudunta (not her real name) whose reputation in character and God-loving precedes her introduction into society. Their wedding was the talk of town … I’m sure you understand why, yes? Let me lend my voice to the thoughts in your heart over the “Why?” Their wedding attracted people of timber and caliber in that society, or like my uncle, Samuel Adejoh, Esq will say, “people of iroko and mahogany were in attendance” and all roads of that community led to their wedding. The love this intending couple shared before their wedding painted the town red (read my article on Devoted Love to glean- www.ojdickson.org). As noted in phase 1 of their story, every young person dreamt of experiencing such love and affection in a relationship, and parents exemplified them to their children. At the instance of his wedding, the entire society unequivocally declared that these two love birds- Yoko and Zudunta have launched into their HAPPY EVER AFTER. Let us label this phase of his life as PHASE 2.

After some years of marriage, Yoko became the exact opposite of who he was in Phase 2 of his life. Surprisingly, he became a gloomy, doomy, and frustrated man who disappointed everyone who knew him in his earlier phases of life. He became a shadow of himself as he embittered all the relationships around him. To him, marriage had changed him into a bitter, frustrated man. Instead of the HAPPY EVER AFTER dream, it became a reality of HAPPY NEVER AFTER. Realities like this narrative invite my curiosity to ask, how does the dream of a HAPPY EVER AFTER become HAPPY NEVER AFTER? Have you seen people who were happier as singles than when they became married? Another probing question to ask is, why is it that for some couples, the longer they are married, the less happy they become? What could account for answers to these questions? Let us label this phase of his life as PHASE 3.

I claim ignorance for the precise answers to these questions in phase 3, however, it’s a living reality in some people’s lives. For some people, happiness enlisted them into the pain of HAPPY NEVER AFTER. For your knowledge, the experience of HAPPY NEVER AFTER is not God’s will for any marriage. God’s word reveals: Find a good spouse, you find a good life – and even more: the favor of GOD! (Prov. 18:22 MSG)

From God’s perspective, you are enlisted for a good life, not a miserable or embittered life when you find your spouse. This is the reason that a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife, and they become one flesh. (Gen. 2:24- CEB)

In God’s will, when the man intentionally embraces his wife, both will become one flesh.

 In God’s will, when the man intentionally embraces his wife, both will become one flesh.

Gleaning from these two passages, it is obvious that marriage breeds good life and oneness for the couple. If these two essences of marriage are traceable to your life, you experience HAPPY EVER AFTER and not the HAPPY NEVER AFTER reality. Thus, HAPPY NEVER AFTER is not God’s plan for your marriage. Being happier as a single than when married is not God’s plan. Being happier in the early years of your marriage than now that you are much older is not God’s will for your marriage. I pray for you that your reality is about to change from HAPPY NEVER AFTER to HAPPY EVER AFTER in Jesus’ name! Your phase 3 will be more enriched and invigorated with joy than your phases 1 and 2 in Jesus’ name!!!

I invite you to a discussion. What causes HAPPY NEVER AFTER in marriages? Let’s interact in the comment section on the website. Please endeavor to share your (learned) story, experience, knowledge, suggestions, and solution(s).

For ongoing discussion, please contact your ‘Go-to-Pastor’ Pst. O.J Dickson on:


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