Welcome to the second edition on the topic, “Healthy Family at a Cost”. In the last edition, I rounded up by asking salient questions that could change the trajectory of your family, if honestly answered. The question was, “How much sacrifice can you make for your family’s sake?” It’s like genuinely evaluating your wishes and desires for a healthy family. Beloved, for the goal of nurturing a healthy family, how much price are you willing to pay? Remember we did learn from the first edition that when you Pay the PRICE called sacrifice, you will enjoy the PRIZE called HEALTHY FAMILY!!!
Today we will emphasize another dimension to building a healthy family. To build a healthy family, you must learn to forgive, and accept being forgiven. For example, forgiving your spouse is fundamental to experiencing a healthy marriage relationship. There can never be a healthy family if the husband harbors unforgiveness towards his wi犀利士
fe and vice versa, or if parents remain unforgiving of their children for ill behavior.
There isn’t any family under heaven that is bereft of the need for forgiveness. If the members of your family are human beings, then the offence is of surety because it is inherent in human relationships to offend each other, thus the need for forgiveness is inevitable.
Is it possible to live in a family and never be offended? Let me twist the question, do you have the propensity to offend people? If yes, then other human beings in your family also have the propensity to offend you. So, create in your heart three realities: (1) you will be offended/angered/annoyed/provoked/deceived by at least a member of your family, (2) because you are not a spirit, you will definitely offend at least one member of your family, (3) you will need to create the room to forgive family members.

Hear what the Bible prescribes in the Book of Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
The rule of thumb in this text is to “make allowance for each other’s fault…” Making room helps you to live with the three realities stated above, and helps you create a healthy family. Remember, you are as imperfect as the people you are expecting to be perfect… think about this truth.

In families where children have rebelled and offended parents, remember, “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him.” (Daniel 9:9, NIV). In God’s mercy, He has been merciful to you even when you rebelled and spoke lies instead of truth, chose compromise instead of honesty. It is that same God that is inviting you to be merciful to your children when they rebel against you.

For anybody reading this article with hurt because of your rebellious child(ren), I pray for God’s transforming power to change your rebellious child(ren) lives right now in Jesus’ name! Every prayer prayed in their lives receives manifestation right now in Jesus’ name! I will hear your testimony. Hallelujah! Speaking of couples harbouring each other’s offences, do you know it is possible to see married couples who go for a whole week, some months and some others go for years without talking to each other? For some, the only talk that joins them is either sex or worship at church (public spaces for people’s sake). Even when they do family devotion, they will both talk to God, but not to each other. Do you understand what I am trying to say?

A story was told of a couple who were having a strained relationship and refusing to forgive each other. The man was going to bed after working on a project over the night and slept around 3 am. He needed to be up and tidy up the project which he was going to submit at an executive meeting with his office board of directors and an important client at 8 am. Thus, he really needed his wife to wake him up wrote at hour 5 am, so he wrote on a piece of paper “Wake me at 5 am” The wife woke up just before that time and she replied to his letter, “Wake up its 5 am” without tapping him to wake up. At the time he woke up, he couldn’t catch up with his presentation and his organization lost the contract. Could either this husband or his wife have adopted Jesus’ counsel in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (NIV)?

Trust me when I tell you, forgiveness breeds a healthy environment for a family to thrive. However, forgiveness can be a great struggle for some people. Such that begrudging those who offend you (alive or dead) might feel natural or appealing to human reasons, but the Bible encourages you to forgive. May His grace enable you to forgive your family members of every wrong in Jesus’ name! A healthy family where husband and wife enjoy their marriage as heaven on earth is possible, but there is a price to pay- FORGIVENESS.

Read my book “Earthly Maintenance for Marriage: even heaven-made marriage needs earthly maintenance to sustain it.”

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Salvation and redemption are important experiences of the Christian faith, but not without a cost- Jesus’ death. The exploits of the Apostles in the book of Acts, which revolutionized the world with a memorable and laudable impact had a price tag- ‘the Martyrs.’ Successful projects have a price tag-diligence. Likewise, every healthy and peaceful family you see has a price tag called sacrifice.

Building a formidable healthy family between husband and wife is possible. However, the possibility is embedded in an outer demonstration called sacrifice. It takes sacrifice to let go of your right for the sake of the health of your marriage. For example, when there is a misunderstanding between you and your spouse, either of you must be willing to sacrifice his/her rights for the common good and the health of the marriage. Refusal to sacrifice your right for the health of your marriage is indicative of the toxic atmosphere in your marriage. Just a quick one, a healthy marriage is not void of misunderstanding, disagreement, and thinking differently, however, the pursuit of a healthy family graces you to obey God’s word at all cost-whether preferred or not preferred. Take a closer read at this Bible passage:

In Eph 5:25, God’s word renders: And to the husbands, you are to demonstrate love for your wives with the same tender devotion that Christ demonstrated to us, his bride (TPT). Husbands are instructed by God to demonstrate love to their wives just as acts of devotion to Christ. I feel like screaming, ‘Help me, Lord!’ I guarantee you that this way of life is very demanding, but it is the measurable standard given by God to every Christian husband. As a matter of gleaning from another Bible translation, read this: Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not 犀利士
getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage (Eph. 5:25-28- The Message).

Husbands are instructed to go all out to love their wives just as Christ did for the Church, demonstrating a love that is measured by giving, not getting so as to bring out the best in his wife. In the words of Dr. James Zasha, “the way you treat your wife is a by-product of your relationship with Christ. To this understanding, I once again, scream ‘Help me, Lord!’

For the Christian wives’, God’s will reveal: Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
The Christian Wife on the other hand is instructed to submit to her husband (unconditionally) in a manner that shows her support or loyalty to Christ. The measurables of a Christian wife’s loyalty to Christ is demonstrated in her submission to her husband. Did you hear that? I hear the devoted Christian wife screaming ‘Help me, Lord!’
Thus, as a way of application, some husbands will say, “I will love her as the Bible says if only, she submits to me” and some wives will be saying, “I will only submit as stated in the Bible if, and only if, he loves me as Christ loved the Church.” Friends, though this reasoning sounds logical to the human inherent nature, it is unscriptural. Living by Biblical standards invites the Man to love his wife even if she doesn’t submit, while the wife is to submit to her husband even if he doesn’t love her as he should. Friends, this way of life in marriage comes at a cost, and that cost is called sacrifice.

How much sacrifice can you make for your family’s sake? Sometimes God will want you to sacrifice personal comfort, profession, work, and friends in order to build a viable healthy family. The cost is demanding, but the reward is unquantifiable. Beloved, a healthy family has a price tag called sacrifice. Pay the PRICE called sacrifice, and enjoy the PRIZE called HEALTHY FAMILY!!!

 For ongoing discussion,

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