A story was shared of a couple who got divorced because the husband accused his wife of not being submissive enough. By that, he meant that his wife, though she submits her salary to him at every month end, but sometimes requests him to add to her monthly allowances so she can help her parents. He got pissed because he felt that it wasn’t in her place to request any amount other than the monthly allowances that he gives her. He was not contented with having that kind of woman as his wife, so he divorced her.
What he failed to understand was the truth that, her kind of woman is some men’s dream wife, but his lack of contentment with whom he had as a wife did not help him to see that virtue in her.
In another related shared story, a couple lived in frustration and bitterness with each other for twelve years because the wife accused her husband of not providing for her needs the way some of her friends’ husbands were doing for them.
Friends, some spouse’s lack of contentment with each other may account for the strain and breakdown of affection and joy in their marriages. Contentment in marriage invites you to appreciate your spouse, though s/he is not the best of all wo/men on earth, s/he is someone else’s desired spouse. The grass may look greener on the other side, but trust me, it may not be as green as you think; it may only be green on the surface. Underneath, it may be yellow or red.
For example, that neighbour’s husband you wish to exchange with your husband may have some flaws in his life which his wife is enduring, thus making him look flawless. The same can be said of some husbands who despise their wives’ affection and forbearing in admiration of someone else’s wife who looks perfect from a distance.
Pst. & Mrs. O.J Dickson
Apostle Paul, speaking on contentment, notes in Philippians chapter four verse eleven,
“…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content”
(English Standard version).
“…for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances.”
This praxis of Apostle Paul suggests the following lessons:
- Contentment is learned. It is not inherent in human beings to be contented. What is inherent in human beings is the desire to have things that are not yours, while ignoring or despising the things you have. However, contentment does not mean a lack of ambition or seeking for a more enriching virtue in your spouse, but it entails learning to appreciate your spouse as s/he evolves.
- Contentment breeds satisfaction. Contentment aids couples to find satisfaction in each other, appreciate their journey together, and empowers them to derive strength from each other.
- Contentment, an antidote to uneasiness. The uneasiness or disturbances in some marriages can be cured or reduced to a bearable minimum if couples become contented with their present realities while hoping for better days. My wife and I have a guiding slogan when life confronts us with financial lack and difficult moments; we always remind ourselves to ‘enjoy the process.’ By that, we mean our present realities will not affect our affection and friendship with each other. That is, contentment keeps the love aglow amidst needs and lack.
Needless to remind you that contentment will grace you to enjoy the strength of your spouse as you both bear with each other through the weaknesses and trying moments of life. Also, always remember that your spouse’s kind maybe someone else’s desire.
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