Welcome to the second edition on the topic, “Healthy Family at a Cost”. In the last edition, I rounded up by asking salient questions that could change the trajectory of your family, if honestly answered. The question was, “How much sacrifice can you make for your family’s sake?” It’s like genuinely evaluating your wishes and desires for a healthy family. Beloved, for the goal of nurturing a healthy family, how much price are you willing to pay? Remember we did learn from the first edition that when you Pay the PRICE called sacrifice, you will enjoy the PRIZE called HEALTHY FAMILY!!!
Today we will emphasize another dimension to building a healthy family. To build a healthy family, you must learn to forgive, and accept being forgiven. For example, forgiving your spouse is fundamental to experiencing a healthy marriage relationship. There can never be a healthy family if the husband harbors unforgiveness towards his wi犀利士
fe and vice versa, or if parents remain unforgiving of their children for ill behavior.
There isn’t any family under heaven that is bereft of the need for forgiveness. If the members of your family are human beings, then the offence is of surety because it is inherent in human relationships to offend each other, thus the need for forgiveness is inevitable.
Is it possible to live in a family and never be offended? Let me twist the question, do you have the propensity to offend people? If yes, then other human beings in your family also have the propensity to offend you. So, create in your heart three realities: (1) you will be offended/angered/annoyed/provoked/deceived by at least a member of your family, (2) because you are not a spirit, you will definitely offend at least one member of your family, (3) you will need to create the room to forgive family members.
Hear what the Bible prescribes in the Book of Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
The rule of thumb in this text is to “make allowance for each other’s fault…” Making room helps you to live with the three realities stated above, and helps you create a healthy family. Remember, you are as imperfect as the people you are expecting to be perfect… think about this truth.
In families where children have rebelled and offended parents, remember, “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him.” (Daniel 9:9, NIV). In God’s mercy, He has been merciful to you even when you rebelled and spoke lies instead of truth, chose compromise instead of honesty. It is that same God that is inviting you to be merciful to your children when they rebel against you.
For anybody reading this article with hurt because of your rebellious child(ren), I pray for God’s transforming power to change your rebellious child(ren) lives right now in Jesus’ name! Every prayer prayed in their lives receives manifestation right now in Jesus’ name! I will hear your testimony. Hallelujah! Speaking of couples harbouring each other’s offences, do you know it is possible to see married couples who go for a whole week, some months and some others go for years without talking to each other? For some, the only talk that joins them is either sex or worship at church (public spaces for people’s sake). Even when they do family devotion, they will both talk to God, but not to each other. Do you understand what I am trying to say?
A story was told of a couple who were having a strained relationship and refusing to forgive each other. The man was going to bed after working on a project over the night and slept around 3 am. He needed to be up and tidy up the project which he was going to submit at an executive meeting with his office board of directors and an important client at 8 am. Thus, he really needed his wife to wake him up wrote at hour 5 am, so he wrote on a piece of paper “Wake me at 5 am” The wife woke up just before that time and she replied to his letter, “Wake up its 5 am” without tapping him to wake up. At the time he woke up, he couldn’t catch up with his presentation and his organization lost the contract. Could either this husband or his wife have adopted Jesus’ counsel in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (NIV)?
Trust me when I tell you, forgiveness breeds a healthy environment for a family to thrive. However, forgiveness can be a great struggle for some people. Such that begrudging those who offend you (alive or dead) might feel natural or appealing to human reasons, but the Bible encourages you to forgive. May His grace enable you to forgive your family members of every wrong in Jesus’ name! A healthy family where husband and wife enjoy their marriage as heaven on earth is possible, but there is a price to pay- FORGIVENESS.
Read my book “Earthly Maintenance for Marriage: even heaven-made marriage needs earthly maintenance to sustain it.”
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Thank you so much ???? sir for this edition ☺️
This is really helpful God bless you sir
Reverend, thanks in million for reminding us of the benefit of let us put it behind (forgiveness). We ought to take note of One of the ten commandments that said forgive me of my wrong as I forgave those who have wronged me.
Thank you so much for sharing with us, we indeed learning everyday.
Thanks sir
This is quite good Sir. Well-done!
If you have not enjoyed the fruit or experience forgiveness, please ask Mr and Mrs Wodi Nathaniel , we have tested/experience forgiveness in our matrimony, it’s like you are just starting your marriage life again.
We praise God for this rebirth.
Truly, there there is no healthy family at no cost. It costs to have healthy family. Thanks for stimulating our minds on this important subject matter.
it’s great message, I kept reading over and over again, trusting God for Grace amongst us, that unbelievers in our families who has offended can be worn to Christ through our forgiveness and showing kindness to them. when such people are worn to Christ transformation can be dramatic, testimonies abound to happen and that is where discipleship starts from to build others.
A truly golden nugget of truth. Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for the person being forgiven. It sets you free!
Aptly put….thank you so much, sir. It is well written ???? ???? ???? ???? ????. More increase.
May the Lord Almighty bless and increase you sir.
More grace
Very insightful sir, gives perspective to how issues should be resolved and tackled in relationships
Timely and evergreen. Thank you Sir.
Am really bless, this message will have an impact in my daily encounter with my family and people.
Thank you man of God. Unforgivingness has and costing family alot, on the negatives as rightly expound. The Lord increase the oil of annointing on your head as He helps us!
Papa Josh you are doing well
It’s really a heart searching to know where we have measured up and where we can do more or where we haven’t started yet. Thanks sir
Thank you for sharing, best regards
Great capsule for healthy family, we are bless with this well articulated piece. Thank you Sir
Thanks for this timely truth sir. Sacrifice and forgiveness is needed for a healthy family to be real.
Thank you Rev. Dr for this piece. It has addressed so many ills inherent in marriages and homes…..I know of a saying that ,” a healthy environment…generates healthy thinking and outcomes… Happy day and may other readers digest what the article intends to address.
An apt write up. Very encouraging and touching. Very much appreciated. The testimony of the couple is a very serious warning never to keep grief longer than necessary. God bless you sir.
A great virtue that saves family from falling in crises, we have to be deliberate to practice it and trust the leadership of the Holy Spirit. Sir, thank you for this insightful article.
THANKS FOR SHARING WITH US GOD’S REVELATION AT THE TIME ITS NEEDED AS TO GROWING OUR FAMILIES AND HOMES. MORE GRACE SIR, HAPPY NEW MONTH
Love, tolerance and forgiveness are essential ingredients for a healthy family.
Thank you OJ even though I am not married the message means a great deal to me too.
Thank you helping to secure the survival and growth of this great institution. One other truth of this matter is that: Any marriage whose spouses aren’t graduates of the “University of Patience and Forgiveness,” hasn’t been contracted yet. My prayer is for us to apply this knowledge to our marriages.
Thanks for a wonderful message on forgiveness.
It is a “most do” for every Child of God ,though usually difficult.
But must be a lifestyle For His followers.
Like the scriptures in the words of Jesus already quoted….forgive them for they Don’t know what they do.
Its encouraging to have this understanding and thus make allowance for each others faults. We are not all perfect in ourselves, but only in Christ.
Your write up is quite instructive.
God bless your ministry sir.
Man of God thank you for this article I pray that God will help us to forgive each other IJN Amen
Forgiveness is the willingness to move on beyond the position of offense and hurt; onnly then shall there be prosperity in the home. Thank you sir, for the therapy.
Unforgiveness gives a false sense of superiority over the person who has carried out the offense. Many people feel weak and defeated when they have to over look people’s excesses. The truth however is that forgiveness shows courage and strength and actually gives you the moral superiority in a circumstance of hostility.
Thank you so much sir, for paying the price to align with God for the relationship of one’s in the institution of marriage. I celebrate grace.
Thanks alot Revoo… Another good council in my bag.
FORGIVENESS a must do for peaceful coexistence in every marriage. Grace Grace more grace ????
Thank you for sharing, best regards
Reverend, thanks in million for reminding us of the benefit of let us put it behind (forgiveness). We ought to take note of One of the ten commandments that said forgive me of my wrong as I forgave those who have wronged me.
“Remember, you are as imperfect as the people you are expecting to be perfect… think about this truth”. This hits me hard
Thanks for sharing this truth.
thank you very much sir. am blessed
Thanks my very reverend OJD for apt reminder on forgiveness
Thanks allot sir. So enriching and edifying. God bless you immensely sir.
Thank you so much sir.
The last lesson was sacrifice, here comes forgiveness.
Thank you
Yes sir
Paying the cost is cheaper than NOT paying.
It is more expensive when you refuse to pay the cost
Thanks for this edition of the artice ‘healthy family’ part two, which focus on forgiveness. I really agree with you that forgiveness is one of the necessary ingredients for a healthy family. Hoping that couples will embrace this ingredients in their marriage
Great grace Rev.
A father, husband, Pastor & Christian by example.
May this ministry in your life, flourish the more in Jesus name.
“Forgiveness” one of the watch words that serve as pills for the sustenance of a godly Christian home. Thank you Man of God for the apt reminder, Sir.
Blessings!
“He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven” (Herbert).
Great piece of admonition here in this article with pointed but humorous examples.
More grace, OJ!