Leaping through the annals of life history, you will discover that when a young man found a lady to marry his only challenge was being sure she was God’s will (God’s will is God’s word, principles, instructions, definition to life, choice). The same can be said of the lady’s only challenge too. But in today’s ‘Now upon a time’ the rhythm is different. Human and cultural reasoning has so clouded Christians to an extent that the primary questions young people ask or hear from their parents and/or elderly people ask are “where is s/he from?” or “where is s/he working?” or “what is his/her parents’ financial status?” or “how are you sure s/he can conceive/impregnate a child/woman” and the list goes on and on. Little wonder that some unserious and Christless Church youths seek shortcuts by having sex or worst still, getting pregnant to ‘blackmail’ parents into endorsing their marriage.
The act of blackmailing parents or impregnating a lady or having sex before marriage is a sin (irrespective of the reasons). God’s word in verse 4 of Hebrew chapter 4 reveals, “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex” (The Message). Thus, sex before marriage and sex with anyone other than your wife/husband remains dishonoring to God- our Father and the Holy Spirit who dwells in you.
Sometimes (if not most times), the change in these rhythms of questioning is witnessed among parents who are seasoned and renowned disciples of Christ.
Pst. O. J. Dickson
Parents who have trailblazed Christian values in their homes, Church, and society are becoming champions of traditional and cultural criteria for marriage at the expense of seeking to know God’s will and God’s will alone. I have heard on multiple occasions how young men are frustrated and infuriated by potential in-laws when they seek their daughters’ hands in marriage. ‘Now upon a time’ is the determining factor for accepting young people’s marriage proposals. They tend to tilt more towards anything other than God’s will. Maybe this reality accounts for why the rate of divorce, separation, and avoidable conflict is on the increase.
Once upon a time, seeking God’s will was the thrust of the question, but ‘Now upon a time’ some may say, it seems needless to ask such an ‘old fashion question.’ Let me render some advice to the wise. Although walking in the will of God does not immune your marriage or life from the storms of life, you rest assured of God’s presence in that storm. Should you be ignorant of what the presence of God can do in your life, please do a personal study on this subject. If you do, you will not want to do anything outside His will. I call you to recalibrate your criteria for marital choice – to put God’s will/opinion back as the primal determinant against cultural and societal evaluations.
The realities of ‘Now upon a time’ invites you to the saying in a movie title, ‘Fighting temptations.’ In that movie, when the abominable happened in the Church, one of the characters called Paulina exclaimed, this act is an “abomination that causes desolation.” It is abominable to ignore the will of God for your marriage (or any facet of your life). The reason is that the resultant consequence of ignoring the犀利士 will of God ends in desolation. Thus, the clarion call is made to all persons involved in “the marriage process” – the intending couples, their parents, formal/informal counselors, and every stakeholder (let’s call them “mouth-choking” actors and actresses) to seek God’s will. In the words of my friend, Anaja Odekina, “mouth-choking” actors and actresses are the invited and uninvited council of concerned Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Neighbours, etc. You may have one of such in your family.
Our chief discipler, Jesus, modeled a way of life when in verse 38 of John chapter 6, he declared, “For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.” Also, in verse 42 of the book of Luke chapter 22, Jesus prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (NIV) These passages of scripture tell you of Jesus’ reliance on the will of God. In the renewed Spirit of ‘Now upon a time,’ let’s emulate Jesus, and in the quest for God’s will being the determinant for marital choice, the marriage should stay anchored on God’s will for the continuance/sustenance of the marriage.
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Thank you so much for this impactful piece
Let your will Lord, and only your will be done in all facets of our lives. Amen….
This is truly a picture of today’s world that even the church is dancing to the music. It is more killing when you go to a Christian family or even Pastor’s family promoting this mindset. We need to retrace our steps to where we miss Jesus in other to regain our saltiness. Thanks for sharing these thoughts sir.
God’s will is God’s word!!!
God’s will for marriage is not embedded in social status or man’s abilities but solely depending on Him for children, for material possession and all. Matthew 6:33 tasks us to seek his kingdom first and all these things shall be added unto you. It means that the one very important question believing parents should ask is ” is he or she born again? It shouldn’t be where is he or she from?
Obedience to the word of God is obedience to God that carries unimaginable blessings. May we be obedient to God through his word
Thank you for the reminder of the word of God pertaining the subject of marriage. God bless you
Thanks so much, Sir. May the Lord Jesus, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, take the lead in our lives and help us live for him in this trying times.
Great write-up, Sir. Finding God’s will in marriage is paramount. The question is how? How many Christians today hear from God? If one can not hear from GOD on the little issues in one’s life, how much more on the quintessential issues such as marriage. We need to start developing our sensitive towards hearing from God. May the Lord help us all.
This is coming at the right time when criteria for marriage is been reversed by parents and the children.The social media is also being abused as marriages are contracted via it and claimed to be the will of God.Nothing wrong if you meet a partner in the social media and commit him or her to the will of God and be ready to listen to His will without an already made up mind.Parents really need to pray for their children in choosing their lives partners.Blessings.
Thank you so much sir.
Knowing God will is very important.
Thank you sir for the knowledge shared
Questions will always be asked in matters of marriage including the ones you listed and even more especially in Nigeria and today’s World.
The motive for asking and what we do with the answers is what matters. This means we should not negate Gods’ will and purpose for marriage.
Thank you so much , Pastor. The Lord bless you and yours richly.
Father help me to always obey your will in my life no matter how unfavorable it may be. Thank you very much Sir for helpful limelight.
Rich counsel to the obedient child of God. More grace in Jesus name
More wisdom sir.
Very apt and impactful. Thank you so much for it this beautiful piece. God bless you always.
So profound!
Great message
Hmmm! The will of God for a child of God, in general, is what matters. It is what he wants, and where he turns that matters most.
The marriage issue is also very critical. Having the will of God for one’s life partner and any other aspect of one’s life will make the party safely reach the goal no matter the storms. Because the Master will be there in the boat.
Thank you sir for this piece.
It is very apt for our generation. More of it!
Thank you so much Daddy for this powerful message, I am so blessed and count it a privilege to be part of what God is doing with your life and ministry in our generation. I will forever remain grateful for knowing you sir.
I celebrate, love and honour you greatly Sir.
This is God speaking to us through his servant. A wake up call from slumber in this sensitive area of the Christian faith. Thank you sir.
God’s will is perfect, beautiful for us but we are often impatient, especially with issues relating to love, the heart.
Indeed the Lord has a will, and we’ve got the need to follow that will to humbly be still, to rest in it, nest in it, fully be blessed in it, following my Father’s will (Amy Grant)
Thank you sir.
I love how you ended it by saying follow Jesus. That is the standard.
God bless you, Sir OJ. This has been my cry in this ministry. “Let’s seek the face of God together in this your proposal for marriage.” Two or three sections of premarital counseling, the intended couple are already tired and would be asking, “are we done with the counseling, pastor?” I do believe strongly sir that, the voice of our godly parents in marital preparations sometimes could be the voice of God. Young people need to stop the attitude of defying their parents all in the name of love. Yes, some parents can be unreasonable and unbearable when it comes to this. But not in all cases. May the Lord bless your mind, sir.
But Sir OJ, what do you say about a 17year old boy still under the watchful eye of his parents, and still speaking admission into tertiary but claiming to be in love and threatening the parents of leaving home if he is not allowed to continue with the love affairs with his secondary school girlfriend?
Wow this is the mind of God thank you so much for the inspiration God bless you sir.
Thank you so much, servant of the living God for this Educating and transformational article. More prowess to write more in Jesus mighty name
Thank you so much for this, you have touch somethings…God bless you greatly
Very rich content in reaching the very disturbing issues among our youths today…Your approach has touch my area of concern…some culture dominate our decision such should be look into
Thank God for using his vessel to x-ray His word to the unsuspecting Christian youths and adults about desolation effect in the denial of the will of God in our lives, marriages, businesses and work. May God’s grace be sufficient to carry on His will.
Thank you for allowing God use you to send this message to us, Many of your messages I wish I had them earlier in my life’s journey. All the same everything works together for good, the world needs to know this and know peace.
Lekebamz
May we,like Jesus did,always seek to do and submit to the will of God in all we do at all times.
Very insightful and profound piece succinctly. More grace!
“the marriage should stay anchored on God’s will for the continuance/sustenance of the marriage.”
My favourite phrase
One thing stood out, “the Will of God in marriage.” This is what makes the difference in Christian marriage.
I totally agree with you MOG on the fact that “sample the goods, taste the milk before you buy the cow,” teaching going round the social media today by people like Daddy Freeze is one of the major cause of the increase rate of separation and divorce in Christian marriages.
Thanks for sharing.
More grace and
Do have a good weekend!
Thank you so much sir, was having this discussion with some guys. This is amazing, sharing with them right away
I am blessed, this is indeed the reality today.
Great insights Pastor. Thank you for this awakening .
Thank you sir for the eye opener from the word of God about the will of God in our lives. Just as parents try to decide for their children who to marry, the youths themselves look at the family the person the want to marry is from. Materials things has taken over love and the will of God. That is why we have high rate of divorce.
Thanks for this insight, oh how I wish that every young man
and woman (singles) can read this. Bless you sir.
Wow! God’s will is key regardless of the times. Thank you for this Sir.
Increase Grace and wisdom upon you papa.this Bless me greatly
I remember when I was preparing to marry, your wise counsel formed the larger part of my decision. This article is apt for today’s christian youth/family. May the Lord continually expand your wisdom and knowledge sir
This is right on point. God bless you for this wonderful message.
Your will, oh God. Not mine !!!
Thank God for putting such a strategic topic in your mind rev. Anyone who wants to destroy a people should destroy their family system. Ideally church should match make members, guess Bible days standards should be on or before 21 years especially for the sisters. God put the topic in your heart for a reason, christian singles avail only in christianity, no other mainstream religion today leaves singles matchmaking to chance
Thank you Sir. This is really timely for the Church
Once upon a time, two adults from different background work hard to produce beauty out of their differences but now upon this time, we have developed a new lexicon called “Irreconcilable differences” which has given us license and acceptance in the society.
Very insight piece that all aspiring to marry should go through. The will of God Must not be undermined or compromised.
Thank you Sir, for allowing God to use you
This is wonderful keep it up an more grace, M O G thank you sir.
This piece no doubt provides a template for an attitudinal change and a total reorientation for believers in all strata to keep in tune with 8the right values in our journey of faith, so that we don’t end up missing the crown on the last day.
Pastor sir, more grace in this service to God and to humanity.
Aptly said Sir. The period of waiting is our major challenge! If only we could patiently wait for God’s will. . .
God’s Word is timeless. The Bibles is the blueprint for mankind to navigate this life. Outside of these life is meaningless. May we as believers hold on to this Truths and pass on same to the next generation
Tank u sir for d word. But I have some questions I need to clear on this tribalism.
Hmmm, the Priority should be solely te will of God for life ,life choices and destiny! I must mention that I am really blessed .
Thank you so much Pastor O.J. Always a delight to hear from you sir.
Even Jesus asked for Gods will, above his own.
Thank you for sharing Sir.
The will of God is the perfect choice
God’s word a double edge sword & His standard never change. Lord help us to live by Your standard not ours.
Thy will be done oh Lord,thank you pastor, this will help to open our eyes to the will of God.We need it in a time like this ,with all the confusion around us and the world .God bless you
May Abba father grant us grace to honour His will above sentiments and human rudiments – so we all be lost in His will and purpose.
Thank you Dr for this insightful article, may the lord continue to increase you all-round, amen.
Truly Insightful!
I pray for discernment to know and align of our Lives to his Will.
…and resilience to remain in his will even when the storms are raging.
Thank you for Sharing Sir👏
Truly Insightful!
I pray for discernment to know and align of our Lives to his Will.
…and resilience to remain in his will even when the storms are raging.
Thank you for Sharing Sir👏
Very aptly put Rev O.
The bottom line is the sincerity of a young man and a young woman’s motive for marriage, and their maturity level.
Today, the question of the will of God in marriage and even any other life endeavour seems to be centered on the ceremony; the wedding, than the actual marriage, or life endeavour.
May the Holy Spirit illuminate the hearts and minds of us all; parents, children and relations, to be sincere with ourselves and go with God’s direction for our life’s.
This is a prophetic piece in its entirety. You appeared here as the voice that cautions the church and individuals who are skilled in distracting young people from remaining focused on God’s will even when it “doesn’t make much sense” to their limited minds.
May this piece achieve the desired result in the world and especially among believers.
Thanks for sharing with me and the world around me sir. May He refill you in Jesus Christ’s name.
Hmmmmmm! It’s rather unfortunate that the cat is now put before the horse as such ithe issue of the will comes last or not referred to at all. Kai jama’a, this is tantamount to cooking without adding salt or seasoning.
Raw truth Sir. Sometimes parental expectations lead young people astray with regards to finding life partners. We often ignore the spiritual reasons for carnal one’s. However, God is still on the throne and exalted. His way remains a high way. Man in his folly must seek to find that high way – being spiritually led
Thank you for taking time to capture such beautiful thoughts, putting them down for the help of God’s people. God bless you very richly.
What are message for the season
So concise and explicit. He who has ear let him hear. I am blessed sir. Thanks for being a blessing to this generation. More oil sir.
Deep,exposes our collective guilt for a need to obey our Lord Jesus!
Well written and presented, man of God! God help the young generation whose ears are wide open to in your new words ‘ mouth choking’, and closed to our great discipler and counsel,Jesus. Ignoring Him means rejecting his plan for our marriages, relationships, and even for our lives. Thanks for being an apostle of “Now Upon A Time”! For the now is critical
Now upon a time, this title speaks and triggers a thought of what it means about the realities of now, oh the contents of this writing express the profound truth of the standard we hold dear to our hearts. Is it the tradition and culture of now or The unshakable will of God? Thank for the article sir
The undiluted Gospel truth is what the Church needs today whether it hurts or not. Ours is to make the will of God known and for the will of God to prevail in our lives.
Kudos Man of God.
Indeed is your calling,and you’re doing it right, using the avenue to reach the targeted audience, both children and parents, thank you for drawing
our attention to the right thing
to be done as commanded by God himself.God bless you, strengthen you and enlarge your coast .
This is absolutely timely, in fact some parents use their children as bet to strike a deal of so called “Campbell union” may God increase you in wisdom my Bishop! Shalom ishgadol.
Well said Sir. More unction and God bless you
Wonderful insight sir.
‘Once upon a time ‘ was when people sought the the will of God with fear and trembling.
‘Now upon a time’,God is not taken seriously. May we learn wisdom from Jesus, who is God. And also seek the Fathers will at all times.
James 1:21_25: wherefore, (may we) lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the encrafted word, which is able to save our souls…’
Thanks sir.
More wisdom sir for more life touching messages.
Well spoken “Now” & “Once” upon a time.
A graphic comparative analysis of yesterday and today but the same scripture.
While we change and sometimes influenced by culture, materialism. time etc, Gods word is the same yesterday , today and forever.
The challenge of all times through scripture is apt if not urgent in our time for His coming is near and hence the necessity to “occupy “.
God continue to bless and increase you in ministry and otherwise according to His will. Amen.
Have a pleasant and stress free weekend .
God bless you sir for this explicit and insightful piece. The Lord prosper your ministry
The system has a mould that wants believers to fit into it. And when one refused to live an immoral life or affirm the world pattern for living, you become a target.
Godly young men are complaining that when “sisters” visit and you don’t have sex with them they begin to ask “are you well”
God’s will is perfect, beautiful for us but we are often impatient, especially with issues relating to love, the heart.
Indeed the Lord has a will, and we’ve got the need to follow that will, to humbly be still, to rest in it, nest in it, fully be blessed in it, following our Father’s will (Amy Grant)
Good one sir. More grace and may God help us in Jesus name.
This is an insightful and timely piece. It should please be circulated widely.
Thank you pastor.
This is nothing but, the truth, our youth to today want shortcut.
God bless the works of your hand sir, the message is so rich
Thank you so much. May the Lord help us to allow His will in the choice of life partner and in any other choice we may want to make.
I think that the good way to cause a change of direction from the ugly narrative to a good one is through feeding our minds with positive thoughts and ideas. Our brother has persistently dished out ideas of positive value. Thanks so much for your contribution, Sir.
Thanks for this inspiring message. God bless you sir.
Wow sir! This is really an eye opener for our todays youths,and how I wish they’ll take their time and read through this great message. But our prayer is that may God will help our todays generation to be sensitive in taking the right decision ,be wise and committed to God.
More grace sir.
Wow sir! This is an eye opener for our todays youths and how I wish they’ll all read through this great message.
But our prayer is that may God help that we’ll all be sensitive in taking the right decision,be wise and draw closer to Jesus .
Powerful message sir
Dr. Dickson,you are on point and very in your approach to the topic.
The matter you treated is the root cause of so many challenges in our homes.
More power ur elbow.
Very apt!!! Thank you for sharing this truth at a time when such is on the decline and the marriage institution has been trivialised and reduced to business transactions. May the Lord continue to help us especially the body of Christ not to miss it. God bless you sir.
Hmmm indeed this is a capsule to our generation.. the raw truth of the gospel of the sovereign will of God… More grace sir.
Spot on!!! God’s sovereign will for our lives comes first and nothing else comes close. No matter how society has tried and is trying to trivialise the marriage institution, God’s sovereign will for both partners coming together to fulfill destiny is paramount. Thank you for this timely piece.
Thank you daddy God reward and strengthen you more for the advancement of His kingdom.
Wow! My Reverend of Life! You hit the nail right on its head with “Now upon a Time”. This has inspired an idea for my blogging expeditions: @TruthCookies, and my ‘young adult/teens counseling ministry, @ElevenThirty.
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“Now Upon a Time”…a good title no?🤷🏽♀️😁
Dr. O.J., I guess some of the concerns often raised may be legitimate. I don’t think anyone will want their child to marry just anyone, regardless of such a person’s background. But while some of the concerns may be legitimate, most of the concerns apparently come from a selfishness.
This is a challenging piece on a challenging issue!